All About You FRIDAY – The 7 Things That Matter

I follow a Substack feed called Everyday Health by wellness writer, Thomas Blake. Recently, he wrote about an ICU nurse who, for 15 years, sat at the bedside as people took their final breaths. The quiet hour of the dying, as she called it, the space between this world and the next, taught her the greatest lessons on how to live.

Because when people are dying, they stop performing…and start confessing. The words of over 300 people began to fall into a pattern. In the end, she heard seven statements over and over:

“I should have loved more, and differently.” Nobody died wishing they had been tougher. They only wish they had been kinder. Dropped the grudge. Stopped worrying about winning the fight. Love shouldn’t be a side project. Send the message. Make the call. Even if people know you love them, take a moment to remind them.

“I saved my joy for later, and later never came.” A retired engineer once told her, “I was so scared of being poor that I became rich in fear.” Book that trip. Use the special china. Wear that new outfit. Don’t wait for a special occasion to try out that new restaurant. Life is special. Grab that joy now.

“Forgiveness set me free more than oxygen did.” Some people wrestled with their last breath not because of pain but because of fear from unfinished business. Forgiveness is for the forgiver, after all.

“The best things in life were free, and I was too busy to notice.” A CEO once told her, “I mistook being busy for being alive.” In the end, people miss the things that surround us. The smell of rain. The laughter of a child. A great conversation. A walk with the one you love. We should stop and think about the moments that make us smile.

“Regret is the heaviest thing to carry.” I should have…I wish I had. What are three things you would regret not doing? “Failure fades”, Blake writes, “but regret hardens.” Try out for the band. Take that solo trip. Reach out to the friend you think about that doesn’t know you think about them.

“Presence is the greatest gift you can give.” It’s easy to be distracted in the modern world. I need to be reminded of this often. Listen. Walk. Talk. Just those things. When you’re home, be home.

“Peace comes when you stop pretending.” As the body weakens, the masks come off. Showing who you really are can feel terrifying until you realize it’s oxygen.

Food for thought, isn’t it? In times of crisis we remember the simple things. Like Stop. Drop. Roll. Or call 911. After reading this article, I am going to remember: Love now and well. Grab joy. Forgive. Notice the free things. Avoid regret. Be present. Stop pretending.

A life well-lived can be learned from the dying. “We’re all chasing something, but every chase ends in stillness,” she wrote. “What matters is who we loved and how we showed up, while we were still running.” Maybe that’s an even easier thing to remember. Love and show up.

Words to live by.

It’s been a long week. Don’t forget to celebrate.

Until next time…