All About You FRIDAY – Stop and Smell the People

That was the title of a future TED talk I wanted to do. Stop and Smell the People. When we hear that statement applied to flowers, we get it, don’t we? To stop and smell the roses means to intentionally slow down, take in the beauty and pay attention. But stopping to consider something isn’t just to see the beauty. One of the greatest benefits of slowing down is to see depth.

It is easy to hear something about someone and immediately draw conclusions. My life is filled with potential stereotypical stories: I’m the daughter of Filipino immigrants. My husband died by suicide. My son is autistic. I am a business owner and I just got married…to a woman. From those statements alone, you might assume I grew up poor, my marriage was a shambles, life with my son was always a struggle, I must make a ton of money and I finally just found myself and discovered I was a lesbian.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

In her TED talk, The Danger of a Single Story, author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie makes a point that stereotypes occur from a single story. Stories matter. But many stories matter more. I recommend you take 19 minutes out of your day to listen to her talk. It will change your life.

Humans are complicated and that’s a good thing. We weren’t meant to be figured out in a day, a week or even a lifetime. One story or one statement doesn’t define us. The complications of a single story are this:

Stereotypes aren’t incorrect. They are incomplete
Reducing someone to a single story robs them of their dignity
Single stories emphasizes how we are different rather than how we are alike

Stop and smell the people in your life. Listen to their stories. Learn who they really are. Why they believe what they believe. Resist lumping them into a group. You aren’t that simple. Neither is the next guy.

It’s Friday and it’s been a long week. Don’t forget to celebrate.

Until next time…