All About You FRIDAY – The Five L’s of a Well-Lived Life

Gladys McGarey

There is this interesting thing that has happened to me for most of my life. If I walk by a baby of a certain age (usually under two years old), they will lock eyes with me. At first I thought it was just by chance or maybe I had something on my face. And for awhile, I would just glance and then look away.

But as it continued to happen, I decided to embrace those moments. I would look directly at them and hold the gaze as long as they did. I didn’t make cooing sounds or try to be funny. I simply would smile and nod in acknowledgement. It would be our moment and then we would move on.

One time, a baby was being pushed in a stroller as I rode by on my bike. He glanced at me and raised his arm as if to wave. I returned the wave. His mom looked puzzled, thinking she should know me. And just this past weekend, I was pushing a cart through the self-checkout at the grocery store when a child sitting in another cart said, “Hi!” She said it so loud, it startled me. “Hi!” I answered as I returned the wave.

I didn’t mention these occurrences to anyone for a long time, but shortly after we were married my husband noticed. “I think they see an angel on your shoulder,” he would say.

After he died, babies stopped looking at me. I was puzzled. Did the angel leave my shoulder? Was I walking around with a cloud over my head? They passed by without a glance. I began to get worried. I started intentionally walking in front of strollers or staring in the direction of a baby. People must have thought I was weird. But it was to no avail. For almost a year, the tiny people ignored me.

Then in the summer of 2007, I rode my bike into town on a hot summer day. Got my favorite Arnold Palmer and sat at a sidewalk table watching the crowds go by. A family walked by and a little baby boy being carried by his mom whipped his head around and locked eyes with me. Had he not whipped his head around, I wouldn’t have noticed. I had stopped looking.

“I’m back!” I thought joyfully. It was a sweet moment for so many reasons and I smiled my gratitude as he went by. And exchange that was noticed by nobody else but the two of us.

In 1930, a 10-year old girl by the name of Gladys McGarey was sitting on a crowded train in India. As she peered out at the crowd of people walking by, she locked eyes with Ghandi on one of his Salt Marches. She was the daughter of two missionary doctors and grew up witnessing the compassion and care her parents offered people regardless of caste. Years later, her parents would work closely with Ghandi, caring for those with leprosy.

“As we reach out for each other, you’re helping people in ways you knew not.” Gladys said in an interview. “We need to recognize when connection happens and not shove it under the carpet.” You never know where that connection may lead. She was 103 years-old during that interview and had recently authored the book, The Well-Lived Life.

In that same interview, she shared The Five L’s, her philosophy on life:

Life and Love are one unit. One doesn’t exist without the other. Just as a seed needs water and nurturing to break down the shell and grow, love is what brings life.
Laughter without love is cruel. It has caused arguments and started wars. But laughter with love brings joy and happiness.
Labor without love is drudgery. But labor with love is bliss. It is why singers sing and painters paint. Labor with love touches the innermost part of our being that makes us come alive.
Listening without love is empty sound. But listening with love is understanding.

We were created for connection. We may not know the reason or the purpose, but the older I get, I am convinced we should grab every opportunity we have to connect with each other. Even if it’s just a look of acknowledgement.

Love flows between gazes. And love paired with just about anything else is transformative.

It’s been a long week. Don’t forget to celebrate. Look up and let the love flow.

Until next time…