All About You FRIDAY – The Other Side of Hard

When I was in my mid-20’s, I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish. These were the top five things on my list: 1. Climb a mountain. 2. Play in a rock band. 3. Travel to Italy. 4. Go to MacWorld. 5. Do a triathlon.

“Maybe now is the time to start training for that triathlon,” a friend said to me six months after I was widowed. I was 38. Her attempt at refocusing my emotions and helping me through my grief was appreciated, but I was hardly an endurance athlete. I took a hard look at my list. By that time, I had only achieved one of them. I had climbed Flattop Mountain in Colorado with my husband on a trip that commemorated our 10th anniversary. Six years later, I climbed that mountain again, this time with his ashes.

Over a decade had gone by and I had only checked off one thing. I decided my friend was right. Maybe it was time to do a triathlon.

That moment launched my decade of delving into endurance races. I ran my first sprint triathlon in 2007 and the 3.1 mile run at the end almost killed me. I was exhausted, my legs felt like concrete and I was anything but fast. But when I crossed that finish line, I knew two things: I hated running, but I loved triathlon.

I set my sights on doing an Olympic Distance Triathlon (1.5K swim, 40K bike ride, 10K run). For a decade, I trained and raced in 1/2 marathons in the early part of the year in order to survive the Olympic Distance Triathlon I would do in late summer. My training days were solo and disciplined. I spent a lot of time running, biking and swimming. It took mental toughness to get to the end of those races.

I never really fell in love with running. At the end of the half marathon, there was never a time I wished I was only half finished. And after 10 years of collecting medals and a knee injury that temporarily put a wrench in my training, I decided to move on to the next adventure.

But during my 36-year career, I’ve encountered many people who are wired quite differently than me. People who have proven it is possible to run 100 miles and swim for hours. And I’ve met some incredible people. Today, I want to tell you about Ryan Walker.

I met Ryan when he was training for his first 1/2 marathon. What started out as a PT session has evolved into a friendship for life. He isn’t just an endurance athlete. He doesn’t just run for medals, he runs with purpose. He competes against himself, honoring the people in his past who made him the man he is: his mother, his grandfather, his wife and kids.

I’ve watched him go from 1/2 marathon to marathon to ultramarathon distances. Each year, he tackles a different endurance event, sometimes crafting them on his own. And in the past few years, he started raising money for Grace Centers of Hope in Pontiac, MI, having raised over $35,325 in the past couple of years for the people of Pontiac.

“My mom died at 44,” he said to me, “I turned 45 this year and in honor of my mom, I have decided to do an Ultraman.”

Ultraman. An 3-day event that includes the following:

Day 1: A 6.2-mile (10 km) open-water swim, followed by a 90-mile (145 km) cross-country bike ride.
Day 2: A 171.4-mile (276 km) cross-country bike ride.
Day 3: A 52.4-mile (84 km) double-marathon run.

Each day starts at 7 a.m. and must be completed by 7 p.m.

He crafted his race to take place near his home, with the race routes going through the neighborhoods of the people who benefit from Grace Centers of Hope. You can follow him and donate to his cause here.

Ryan has proven he knows how to show-up every day, in training, for the people he loves and for people in need. Because every hard thing I’ve ever done has been about purpose, he says. His event is two weeks from today.

In Ryan’s words: That’s why I run for HOPE Shelters. That’s why I swim through cold open water. That’s why I ride across the state in a day. Not to outrun grief. You can’t. But to do something worthy of the people who shaped you.

Endurance sports taught me that everything worth having is on the other side of the moment you want to quit. That’s also just true of life. I want my kids to see that. I want them to know that showing up, doing the hard thing, and caring about something beyond yourself. That’s the whole game.

I am blessed to have Ryan in my life. He inspires me to be a better person. To never give up. He has proven how resilient a human can be. He is an example of what it is to love and care for others. And I am honored that on 8/31/24, he officiated our wedding, cementing his place in our lives forever.

It’s been a long week. Don’t forget to celebrate. And do something worthy of the people who shaped you.

Until next time…