All About You FRIDAY – The Challenge of Unconditional

“Do you believe it is possible that someone can love you even if they don’t agree with something you do?” my pastor asked me.

“100%,” I replied without hesitation. But it’s easier said than done, I thought.

To love and be loved unconditionally is something we all desire. We cling to the promise of that kind of love from a Higher Power, we seek it in our significant relationships and we have felt the deep tugging in our hearts of this kind of love when we hold a newborn child in our hands. Many people own a pet because it is their one reliable source of unconditional love.

Unconditional love. We all want it. But in order for us to get it, we also have to learn to give it. And therein lies the challenge. Because the statement of “I love you” is simply that. Words. Love takes action. Listening. Pondering. Committing. Not to everything they say or do, but committing to them as a human.

It is easy to love someone that is just like us. The challenge comes in loving someone who isn’t anything like us. Someone who is on the other side of the political coin. Someone who has a family that looks different than ours. Someone who battles addiction. Someone who has done us wrong.

Loving someone and ignoring the part of them you don’t like isn’t really loving them unconditionally. By parsing people out and loving only the things we can deal with is so conditional that it defies the very definition of love itself. Is loving only part of someone still really love?

Listening to why someone believes what they believe. Understanding someone’s addiction. Loving someone while acknowledging all of who they are. That is unconditional love.

Unconditional love looks past the differences. Unconditional love doesn’t judge, because it doesn’t see anything to judge. It looks so far past the differences that it no longer sees them.

This is our lifelong challenge. And in my opinion, it should be our lifelong pursuit. Because loving in this way takes practice. It takes learning. It takes an open heart and swallowing of pride. It takes a commitment to something deeper than just being right. It takes commitment to a human who, at the core, is just like us.

Unconditional love doesn’t discipline you into being a better person, but rather it is a love that is so all-encompassing that it makes you want to be a better person. It is transformative.

It. Creates. Change. In both the giver and the receiver.

Nobody is perfect, yet we all want to be loved perfectly. I think its time we start on the path to loving perfectly. After all, it just may take us a lifetime to figure it out.

It’s Friday and it’s been a long, challenging week. I hope somewhere in your week, love conquered judgement. That is a reason to celebrate.

Until next time…