All About You FRIDAY – The 10-Second Kiss

Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together

that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.

—Rene Yasenek

Ever hear about the 10-second kiss? I’m not sure how I heard about it, but I remember exactly why I had decided to try it.

It was the summer of 1993. We had been married for two and a half years. We were living in a one-bedroom apartment with a teenager (my husband’s half brother who resided in our living room) and my newborn son.

Life had dealt us a hearty dose of reality. Long gone were the days of just the two of us. My husband was busy with his budding residential building business and I was working full-time to help make ends meet. We had taken legal guardianship of my brother-in-law, only to find out shortly after that I was four months pregnant. Our family went from two to four in a matter of six months. My free time was filled with grocery shopping, dinner prep, chores, homework assistance and diaper changes.

Life has a way of doling out some pretty big challenges and sometimes the only way we can deal is to script it all out. Everyone has a role and as long as we stick to the plan, we should be OK. That is what my independent, controlling brain was telling me anyway.

So, our daily routine had relegated our once hours long romantic interludes to mere seconds. Literally. You know how it is. “Hi, honey!” (Quick peck on the lips). “Bye, honey.” (Another obligatory peck.) After a few months of that kind of action, I decided we needed a change.

It is strange how the one you love—the one you know better than anyone—can all of a sudden seem like a stranger. I remember having a rare opportunity to get away for a night on the town and sitting across the table from him, realizing there was so much to tell that I had nothing to say. We filled the space with talk about work and the kids. I remember thinking, “When did I get so old and boring?”

So, enter the 10-second kiss. I think I heard about it on the radio or something. There is actually a book out by the same name. When I caught wind of it, it appealed to me on a couple of levels. First of all, now that I actually knew how to kiss, it seemed like an attractive option for an extracurricular activity. Second, even the busiest person can spare 10-seconds a day, right?

The day came when I decided to put my newfound tactic to the test. I was poised and ready to take action the minute my husband walked through the door. I heard his footsteps approaching. Click. “Hi, honey!” (Moving in for the obligatory peck). Our lips met in a pucker and as he began to pull away, I grabbed his shirt and hung on for dear life.

Now, let me just fill you in on the secret of the 10-second kiss. You actually need to employ some technique, otherwise you end up lip-locked and just staring at each other for what seems like an eternity.

That’s what happened the first time. Awkward silence. Dumbfounded stares. One-one thousand. Two-one thousand. I felt like I wanted to laugh because it was kind of funny. Four-one thousand. But then again, this was the man of my dreams and I was kissing him like my lips were stuck to fly paper. Six-one thousand. It really wasn’t that funny. It was a disaster.
That’s why there are second chances.
I stepped back as he gave me a quizzical look. I took two steps away and before he could move, I turned back to give it one more college try. Practice makes perfect, after all.

I don’t need to belabor you with the details. But if you give it a try, I highly recommend closing your eyes and immersing yourself into the situation. Use your lips and your arms and any other appendage you might have available. You’ll figure it out. You’ve danced together before and given a chance, the memory of that will come pouring back. Suffice it to say, for us, it was transformational.
Ten seconds is hardly anything—but in ten seconds, everything can change. The mood. The atmosphere. The possibilities. It’s a testament to what can happen when we choose to be fully present in the moment—even for just a few moments.

I was recently invited to the wedding of a friend and as I carefully wrapped her present, I couldn’t help but smile when I placed a particular object in the bag. Buried among the typical bridal gifts was a plastic sand timer—a reminder of the power of one good habit. It wouldn’t surprise me if it gets tossed in a drawer, it’s significance minimized among the more glamorous gifts. But I hope one day when reality bites and the sparks no longer fly and she’s running around the kitchen trying to survive her day, her eyes fall on the little timer in the junk drawer—and then her world changes.

The 10-second kiss. It might not bring world peace, but then again, it just might bring your world peace. And if everyone just worried about that, maybe that would be all that mattered.

It may take

Eight hours a day to make a living

30 minutes to do your hair

20 minutes to wash the dishes

Ten minutes to read a bed-time story

and five minutes to brush and floss your teeth.

That’s all good, but don’t forget…

It only takes

Ten seconds to change your world.

It’s been a long week. Don’t forget to celebrate (and seal it with a kiss).

Until next time…

Kind Regards,
MoveWell Academy
[email protected]